Protect yourself | part 1

  How to protect yourself and loved ones from suicide? Interview with a clinical psychologist

According to the WHO, every 40 seconds, someone somewhere commits suicide. According to statistics for the past year, Russia ranks third in the world in the number of suicides. Due to the coronavirus, the sources of stress have increased, and logic dictates that these unpleasant numbers will rise. Alla Obraztsova, a clinical psychologist and leader of groups for people whose lives in a difficult situation, helps to survive the tragedy and help herself and her family in a difficult situation, how to distinguish dangerous suicidal thoughts from a “simple outburst of emotions”, why one cannot keep silent about suicides. relatives committed suicide.

- Do you think the pandemic will affect the number of suicides in the country?

- Due to the coronavirus, people directly face the fear of death. Moreover, in two aspects: in the physical - the fear of the virus itself, the fear of being infected, and in the economic - the question of survival.

And suicide is not a desire to die, it is a search for a way out. When a person is in pain, when he cannot find any solution, consciousness becomes tunnelled and leads to only one outcome.

In a pandemic situation, the very environment contributes to the fact that people can not stand it. Therefore, the percentage of those who cannot find any other way out, I think, will grow.

- How, in your opinion, can the number of suicides in Russia be reduced?

- The most important thing that can be done to prevent suicide is to inform, organize psychological education. Primarily in schools. This is not enough in Russia.

It is necessary to explain to people from childhood how their psyche works, where and how suicidal thoughts appear; it is normal and even correct to talk about helplines, free psychological assistance centers and how to go there.

From time to time it is necessary to remind everyone that psychologists do not go to psychologists, psychologists help healthy people.

If there is a need to contact a specialist, but there is no financial opportunity to visit the clinic, you can use helplines or online psychological help resources. There are websites and hotlines in Russia that provide psychological support for free. Here are some of them: Helplines:

(812) 323-43-43 - for adults (around the clock);

8-800-2000-122 - for children (around the clock);

(812) 714-42-10, (812) 714-45-63, (812) 714-15-69 (around the clock) - drug treatment;

8-800-100-01-91 (around the clock) - for cancer patients and their relatives;

(812) 325-48-47 (from 11:00 to 18:00) - for people who have faced the problems of sexual and physical violence, drug addiction, HIV;

8 (800) 201-27-45 - psychological assistance in solving problems related to coronavirus, quarantine and isolation.

Free psychological assistance services:

psychological assistance to adolescents and youth;

support of representatives of the LGBT community;

emergency psychological aid service of the Russian Emergencies Ministry;

psychological assistance to adolescents;

“We Are Nearby” is a fund for emergency psychological aid, created during the pandemic.

Almost all cities and regions of Russia have their own hotlines for urgent psychological help. To find them, it is enough to drive in a search engine "line of psychological help" and the name of the city.

- You worked on the psychological emergency hotline. When do people go there and how do specialists help?

- On the phone, the psychologist listens to the client, communicates with him, relieves emotional stress and, if he has a tragedy, helps to understand and accept it. This is usually enough.

My colleagues from the emergency psychological aid center periodically went to schools, told how to contact us, and left a number. After that there was always a flurry of calls. Most, of course, with fictional stories. But we enjoyed every conversation.

After such a call, even if it's just a joke, the teenager understands that they listened to him, tried to help, the experts took even this fictional case seriously. This means that in a really difficult situation on the subcortex, the child will have the thought that somewhere they will definitely try to understand him.

A person who is now feeling bad has a much better chance of life if before that he came across any information about psychological help. At a minimum, he will know that there is where to turn and that he will definitely not be left alone.

- And how to understand that a friend or relative is “bad now”, even suicidal thoughts? This is not always visible from the outside.

- Each person has his own individual characteristics, habits, character traits. But if something has changed dramatically in your loved one, then this is already a reason to pay attention and clarify the reasons. If a person has suddenly lost sleep, he began to malnourish or, conversely, overeat, withdrawn into himself or stopped following his appearance - most likely, you should worry about him.

There is also a more difficult story - self-harm. They always talk about auto-aggression. Suicide is its last stage.

Often a depressive state also leads to suicide: a decreased background of mood, lack of desires, lethargy, pessimistic forecasts for life.

It is important to always be attentive to loved ones. Posthumous studies of suicide have shown that in life, people who committed suicide necessarily had the prerequisites for this. In recent days, a person somehow showed his intentions: he read unusual books, watched films, was in a sharply elated mood, or bought tools. It was just that people around did not notice, did not react.

- What if a loved one has any of these signs?

- At least this is a reason to make contact with him. Try to clarify on your own what is happening: to be around, listen, try to help. If the behavior of a loved one has changed dramatically, but he does not make contact, perhaps there is a suicidal risk and an urgent need to consult a psychologist.

- It is believed that adolescents are at risk of suicide. How should parents behave to reduce the likelihood of tragedy?

- Teenagers are impulsive, they are easily "infected" with ideas and are highly influenced by outsiders. At this age, a wall of alienation often grows between children and parents. The child has nowhere to go, the parents become his enemies.

To reduce the risk of suicide, children should not be allowed to completely withdraw. Parents should listen to the child and, most importantly, accept him. At this age, children try, discover new things, and they have the right to do so.

For example, a teenager dyed his hair green - no need to judge him, it is better to discuss, try to understand what he wants to say by this.

A child should always have a person who can support him in any situation. After all, suicide is about loneliness. Moreover, loneliness is not the actual absence of people around, but a lack of understanding.

If a person is left alone with a bunch of unsolvable, in his opinion, problems, he simply does not see any other way out.

- Based on your experience, what most often led people to suicidal thoughts?

- There are many reasons for suicidal mood, but depression is considered the main one. Also, the thought of committing suicide often appears during a crisis - some kind of change, when the old ways to cope with difficulties stopped working, and new ones did not have time to appear. For example, changing jobs, getting married, divorcing, moving, or having a baby. This is due to adaptation: some people get used to it faster, while others find it very difficult to adapt.